Subject:   [adventure!] Mostly ecstatic!

Date:   5/17/2004 4:24:15 AM

 

 

 

 

Well folks,

 

The past few days have been a big emotional rollercoaster. Some of the best

parts of this adventure, mixed with the absolute worst part. This email may

end up quite long. I'll tell you the worst part first to get it out of the

way. I lost my journal on a bus. To some of you this may not sound worse

than the earlier tree-related self-mutilation I have described, or even the

near near-drugging-and-kidney-removal in Istanbul, but I assure you I would

give at least one kidney to get that book back. To put it in perspective,

try to imagine writing down all of your thoughts, stories, story ideas,

teaching notes, contact information, and secret passwords into one book and

leaving it on a bus. Then try to imagine that you actually took three buses

that day, making it harder to track down. But even though several actual

Turkish people called around to each of the bus companies, offering rewards

of up to 100 US dollars, it turns out that the Turkish bus system, efficient

as it is[1], apparently has a policy of throwing important-looking items out

the window at high speeds and summarily executing anyone who may have any

information on the whereabouts of those items. To top it off, try to

imagine yourself as a person who has a seriously horrible memory and who is

about to finish a wonderful adventure to go back to a teaching job, only to

lose all your travel notes and a bunch of teaching notes in the same book.

 

What a horrible paragraph! Okay, so the good part, which I promise is good,

requires the telling of one more bad part. That is that I am really sad

that I had to leave Turkey. So sad that the Dixie Chicks music on the

airplane radio brought tears to my eyes[2].

 

Aha! But the reason I was sad to leave (apart from losing my damn notebook)

was because I had an incredible time there! It turns out, as I discovered

soon after writing my last email, that Capadoccia was not the location of

the filming of Star Wars, but only the location of some people who lie to

tourists about the filming of Star Wars[3]. But you could film way better

movies there because A) you are not George Lucas, and B) Capadoccia is

absolutely amazing. There are caves and 'fairy chimneys' (sort of like

giant mushroom-shaped rock formations that are hollowed out and lived in

like rock Smurf houses[4]). We walked through the gorgeous Ilhara Valley,

climbed up through vertical cave shafts to second floors of rock churches,

visited and I smashed up my body on more rocks and trees!

 

Oh, and before we went to Capadoccia, we got to see the Chimaera in Olympos,

which is the fire-swamp type thing I was telling you about, except it's not

like the fire-swamp at all. There are flames, sometimes 2 feet tall, just

coming out of the ground, and they've been burning there constantly for

thousands of years! My friend Pinar went there with her friend and cooked

Turkish sausages over one of them!

 

After a stop in Amasya, a peaceful German-looking town completely surrounded

by mountains, it was back to Istanbul for a couple of days during which time

I have decided that I must spend at least a year living in Turkey. You can

teach Psychology at a University there with a Masters degree, and it turns

out I have one of those. It also turns out you can buy a flat there super

cheap and fix it up, which sounds like my dream come true! Details will

follow sometime in the next couple of years.

 

'Ah, but where are you now' you might be asking?

 

I'm in Bangkok! Sitting in an internet cafe trying to dry off after being

soaked in the daily downpour[5]. Those of you who have spent more than 30

seconds talking to me may know that I love food. While Turkish food held

the number one spot, it has been skillfully bumped out by the Thais[6]. I

calculated a gain of about 8 pounds in Turkey and I am fully expecting to

leave Thailand in a wheelchair, unable to support my own weight with my

legs.

 

I arrived yesterday and met with my cousin Melinda who has been here a few

years now and speaks Thai better than any other person of her particular

skin colour[7]. We ate lots of things and I learned how to say 'thank-you'

('kop-khun-kop', probably spelled differently), which may be the only Thai

word(s?) I will be learning on this trip. Apparently men are required to

say 'kop' after everything they say, which makes me feel like I'm on Zoom or

that Canadian kids show where the kids made up their own language.

 

Yesterday we took a couple of water-taxis and ate lots of things from street

vendors. I have continued my Turkish goal of eating everything the food

stands sell. And one street vendor was selling ...

 

 

 

 

 

.... fried ...

 

 

 

 

 

.... COCKROACHES!!!!! AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!

 

 

And grasshoppers and some other random things[8]. Okay, so I'm not eating

*everything* here. After that I stayed at Melinda's friends' Christian

guesthouse and ate ... Kentucky Fried Chicken! How's that for a unique

Bangkok experience?! No hookers and beer, just a little Jesus and the

Colonel! Very nice place, and for breakfast they served fried rice yesterday

morning and beef stirfry noodles this morning! Wow! I'd better trade in my

wheelchair for a stretcher! Oh, and I've eaten about 30kg of Lichee fruit.

 

Today I figured out the bus across town to find my way to KhaoSan road, the

famous backpacker place, which so far looks like a terribly touristy row of

shops. The rain just stopped, so I'm headed there now to explore it

further. Tomorrow or the next day, it's South to the beaches I think. Or

possibly North to Laos!

 

Oh there are so many other things I want to tell you about, but I'm not sure

how long your reading patience will last. And it's about time for me to

find something strange to eat.

 

Kop Khun Kop!

jay

 

p.s., if anyone sees a black notebook with my name on the inside cover,

please let me know!

 

 

[1] Aside from their policy on the finding and destroying of journals, the

Turkish bus system is actually fantastic.

[2] Come on, it was that song about the VietNam soldier writing letters to

the little girl, sniffle, sniffle. Okay, maybe it was actually Britney

Spears, but I've been away for a long time!

[3] It was taped in Tunisia.

[4] Wallah! That sure was some smurfin' awesome smurf kebab, Smurfette!

[5] I should mention I've only been here two days, so this daily monsoon

trend could be more of a couple-rainy-days thing.

[6] But lo, how I will miss the simits!

[7] Welsh Eggshell White #473.

[8] I believe one of the random things was an actual deep-fried Barbie

doll.